


And he's dead, and I loved him -

by chutney_the_bisexual_dormouse



Category: Murder Most Unladylike Series - Robin Stevens
Genre: F/M, dss au, hes not actually dead tho, in which mr longarms dies, sorry this is kinda angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28502871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chutney_the_bisexual_dormouse/pseuds/chutney_the_bisexual_dormouse
Summary: Alexander Arcady is dead.Dead.Dead.Or is he?
Relationships: Alexander Arcady & George Mukherjee & Daisy Wells & Hazel Wong, Alexander Arcady/Hazel Wong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Can he swim?

My thoughts come in fragments.  
May, being whisked to the front of the boat by Heppy.  
My father, begging her to let her go.  
I run, to grab May, but Alexander pushes me back.  
He throws May to us.  
And then...  
He's falling, down,  
Down,  
Down...  
And I'm screaming, crouched on the deck, hands over my ears.  
Because he can't be dead.  
And I hear someone ask George,  
"Can he swim?"  
Alexander can swim, can't he?  
He swam in the summer.  
No, I remind myself.  
The sea wasn't deep.  
The sea didn't have crocodiles.  
George dives for him.  
Once.  
Twice.  
Seven times.  
But, for a moment, I see blonde hair, surface further down the river, near a beach.  
And then it's gone.  
He's gone.


	2. You should have these.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George gives Hazel Alexander's case books.  
> And she reads them.  
> And cries.

My thoughts become more fully formed.  
George sits beside me.  
"Hello, Hazel." He smiles.  
"Hello," I croak, my voice hoarse from screaming.  
"I have something for you." He smiles, sadly, and hands me a box.  
His case books.  
Alexander's case books.  
And I cry.  
George hugs me, and lets me cry.  
"i know," He sniffs, patting me on the back, "I know."  
"He's gone, and I never told," I hiccup, "Never told him."  
"It's okay," George says, but it's not.  
Later, after George leaves, I begin to read.

25th of December 1935

I'm such an utter twat.  
I thought, maybe if I pretended to like Daisy, I would stop liking Hazel.  
But it didn't work.  
And now Hazel hates me. No, she doesn't hate me, Hazel doesn't hate anyone. She's too nice, and kind and... perfect.  
George thinks I'm a twat too.   
At least we finished the case before Christmas.  
Anyway, I have to go and figure out how to un-fuck up my friendship with Hazel.

26th of May 1936

I know this is a case book, but I feel I must write this somewhere.  
Hazel Wong is perfect. And I love her, so much.  
We escaped into London to investigate. Daisy couldn't come, as she's sick. I was slightly glad that I didn't have her constantly commenting on my appearence, and detecting skills, which made me feel guilty.  
We went to Annie's boarding house, and searched it...

The casebooks went on like that, and I read every single one, on the way home to England. The last case book, I read several times.  
The last entry ended with the words:

I'm in love with Hazel Wong, and I have been since I met her, but she doesn't know that. I wish she did.


	3. The funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They hold a funeral.

They're having his funeral in America, so we can't go.  
I started crying again when i found that out, so Amina, Daisy and George agreed to have a small funeral at Fallingford, where we're staying. Beanie convinced Kitty and Lavinia into coming aswell, though they never me him.  
We make a grave from a slab of stone Daisy found in the stables, and Kitty, who has the nicest handwriting carefully paints on the words;  
Alexander Franklin Arcady  
1921 - 1936  
May he rest in peace forevermore.

And then it hits me, more real than anything.  
He's not coming back.


	4. Thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hazel thinks beside his grave.

I come to his grave every day.  
I do not cry anymore.  
I just think.  
A million memories flood my head.  
The day we met, and how I thought he was looking at Daisy, not me, and how that made my heart sink to my feet.  
The day we ran away into London, and how he looked so awkward after putting his hand over my mouth.  
The first time he hugged me, and the last.  
That last day, when we were in his cabin, and he tried to tell me.  
I think for so long, that the sky darkens.  
I think so hard, it's almost like he's beside me.  
'Hello Hazel.' says a voice I haven't heard in two weeks.  
A voice I thought was dead.


	5. Happily ever after for no one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter.

"Hello Hazel." Alexander says.

I spin around, and face him.

He's alive.

"You, you," I splutter, "You bastard! I thought you were fucking dead, and George gave me your notebooks, and I was, you were-" 

And then I kiss him. And it is confusing, and odd and perfectly lovely, because I'm kissing him, and he's kissing me, and I can feel his hands in my hair, and he's not dead, he's alive, and I love him.

I pull away from him, and he smiles at me.

"I'm still mad at you," I say, but I don't think it really has the same effect as before, as I just kissed him, and my face is still pink.

"Of course you are, I wouldn't think otherwise." He says, smiling at me.

I start crying, and he puts his arms around me, and he keeps saying two words over, and over again.

"I'm sorry." He repeats, again and again.

"Hazel, dinner's ready, and Hetty says you really do have to eat -" George's voice is cut off as he comes into eyesight.

"Alex." He whispers, then he's running towards us, and he's crying too, and we're all hugging.

George stands back, and looks as though he's about to yell at Alex.

"It's okay George, I already yelled at him." I smile.

"We should go up to the house, see Daisy and Amina." George says, smiling, "You won't believe this, Hastings, Daisy actually nearly cried at your funeral."

At this, Alexander bursts into laughter, throwing his head back. It's such a happy sound, that I smile, and start laughing too, hand over my mouth.

We reach the back door, and I push it open.

"DAISY!" I yell up the stairs.

"THERES SOMEONE HERE DOR YOU AND AMINA." George practically screams.

There's a scuffle upstairs, as they run down.

"Who-" Daisy breaks off, staring at Alexander, as only a frenemy who thought you were dead can.

To my surprise, she starts crying, and runs over to us, and hugs him. Between the sniffles, I can make out her saying something along the lines of:

"Missed you *hiccup* "

"D-doesn't mean I like you."

"Don't *sniff* die again."

"Your arms are *hiccup* too long."

Alexander pats her back awkwardly. Amina just sort of stares at Alexander, eyes wide.

"Anything else we should know?" Amina asks, looking shaky.

"Well," I blush, "Nothing that can't wait for lunch."

Alexander smiles at me, and I feel as though i might explode with joy, or combust or... kiss him again.

And I will, because...

He's alive and I love him.


End file.
